PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

...In my observation, the brothers who are the proper head in their family always find their whole family saved. The only difference is in the timing; some in the family believe earlier while others believe later. But none in the family remains an unbeliever forever. It is always a household salvation; the whole family is saved eventually. All the brothers who are the head in their family should stand firm in this matter. First bring the whole family into a saved standing, and then every member will be saved one after another....

Confessing the Sin of Neglecting to Be the Head

What should a man do if he has given up the headship to a woman? First, before the Lord, he must know the reason that he has allowed her to become the head. He has to confess his sin of neglecting to be the head. It is a sin to instigate rebellion in a nation. It is a sin to be disobedient in the church, and it is a sin to relinquish the place of headship in the family. One must thoroughly deal with the Lord concerning such a sin and confess his sin.

Being Firm in Attitude, Acting in Wisdom, and Earning Respect from the Wife

...A person must pray much and ask God to give him strength. Paul told the Corinthians that women should not speak in the meetings, and that they should ask their husbands at home if they wanted to learn anything (1 Corinthians 14:34-35). The husband refers to those who can assume headship. If your wife asks you something at home, are you able to answer her? Today many sisters are better than their husbands. If Paul were to write again today, I am afraid that he may have to tell the husbands to go home to ask their wives! If you are not proper before the Lord, you will not be able to act as a head in a proper way.

One cannot force his way to be a head; one is a head spontaneously. You have to reclaim your lost position. You cannot say that you are not smart and therefore cannot be the head. You may not be as smart as your wife, but do you believe in James's promise? James said, "But if any one of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and does not reproach, and it will be given to him" (1:5). I fully believe that you will receive, but you have to ask of God. It is useless to put on an air of authority at home. You have to be firm in your attitude, meek in spirit, and act in wisdom so that you can earn your wife's respect.

Choosing God for the Children, and Not Provoking Them to Anger

In a family, in addition to the wife, there is another group of people who are hard to deal with—the children. How should we deal with our children? First we have to choose God for them. Freedom of religion can be practiced only after they have moved away from home. As long as they are at home, we have to choose their faith for them. We have to be firm in our attitude on the one hand and gentle on the other hand. The mistake that fathers often make toward their children is provoking them to anger. Ephesians 6:4 says that the fathers should not provoke their children to anger. As the head we have the authority, but we must not provoke our children to anger. Except for Colossians 3, this is the only place in the Bible that teaches how to be a father. It is easy to be a father foolishly, but exercising authority and firmly dealing with children is not that easy; the children can easily rebel. This is why we must learn.

Being a Pattern, Nurturing Up the Children

Ephesians 6:4 also mentions nurturing. This means bringing up someone....The Bible says that we should "bring up" our children with the Lord's Word. This means that the fathers have to take the lead in the teachings and the Word of God. Many fathers do not bring up their children; they hope that their children will not do certain things, yet they do the same things themselves. This is sending up; this is not bringing up. Asking your children to follow your teachings while not practicing them yourself will not work. You have to bring them up until they are grown up. You have to be their pattern. Whatever you want them to be, you must first be yourself. This is the way to deal with children. (Watchman Nee, The Collected Works of Watchman Nee, Set Two, Volume 42, pp. 262-274)

APPLICATION

God has ordained the headship of a family to be of central importance in obtaining the blessing of salvation to that family. God has placed the husband as the head of his own household. If a man does not learn to exercise his proper position in the family, the family will suffer greatly.

Suggestions for our consideration:

How can a husband properly exercise his position as head in relation to his wife?

How can a father properly exercise his position as head in relation to his children?